


What Price Joy?

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-10-07 04:06:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10351914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: Missing scene from "Pretense"SPOILERS: Pretense - heavy spoilers





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

What Price Joy?

##  What Price Joy? 

##### Written by PHO   
Comments? Write to us at phowmo@mindspring.com

  


Jack O'Neill smiled broadly as he watched Skaa'ra, freed forever from the curse of Klo'rel, bounce away from the SG-1 team toward his new life. The boy, no, Jack corrected himself, the young man had bestowed a grateful hug on Samantha Carter, and had granted Teal'c a respectful handshake. It gratified Jack no end to notice that the young Abydonian held no malice for the Jaffa who had enslaved both himself, and his sis... Oh God. Daniel. Jack turned as casually as possible in Daniel's direction. His young friend was smiling, a genuinely happy smile for the release of his brother-in-law, but the blue eyes held a sorrow which Jack had not seen since the ceremony of the feather on Abydos. Silently Jack cursed the fates that seemed to exist only to torment Daniel Jackson.

Skaa'ra walked eagerly out of the Tollan Triad chamber in the company of the Tok'ra who had freed him. Everyone else followed the excited young man from the room, leaving only Jack ... and a Daniel too lost to his own thoughts to notice who was or was not present. Jack watched for a moment as Daniel slumped to lean against the desk Zippy had used to argue Klo'rel's case. His head dropped heavily to his chest, and the earnest blue eyes studied his shoes in silence. His breaths started to come more rapidly, and shaking hands moved quickly to cover his face.

"Daniel?"

The reaction was much as Jack had expected. Daniel immediately stood ramrod straight, gasping in a startled breath which choked off what *sounded* like a sob. Quickly rubbing his eyes as if they were tired, not filled with moisture, Daniel turned to face his friend. "Oh, Jack, I didn't hear you come back. I...I think I left something..." His voice trailed off as he whirled away from the Colonel and started toward the inner chamber.

"Daniel. I never left."

The words stopped the young man in his tracks, but he didn't turn to face his friend. Instead his shoulders slumped again, and a barely heard "oh" escaped his lips.

Jack closed the distance between them and placed a supportive hand on Daniel's shoulder. "It's okay to be angry, Daniel."

Horrified, Daniel turned to face the older man. "God, Jack. I'm not angry. I'm *thrilled*, *ecstatic*, *overjoyed*, to have Skaa'ra back. The one thing I'm ... *not* ... is angry."

"What about Sha're?"

Daniel stiffened as his dead wife's name was mentioned. "W..What about her?"

"Oh, come on, Danny. This is Jack O'Neill you're talking to. Don't try and tell me that part of you isn't angry that Skaa'ra's alive, and Sha're's ... not. Yes, you're delighted for Skaa'ra. You're overjoyed that he's safe, but part of you is demanding to know 'Why not Sha're?'"

Daniel's face drained of what little color it held. "Noooo. Y..you're wrong."

"Am I? I don't think so."

"What is this? Jack O'Neill the grief counselor?" Daniel's eyes widened with horror as the words slipped out. "No, I didn't..."

Jack now leaned tiredly against Zippy's desk. "Daniel, when Charlie died, it was a long time, a *very* long time before I could see his friends playing in the park, and not ask 'why my child, why not one of *them*?'" He held a hand up to forestall Daniel's interruption. "And no, I didn't really want to see someone else's child taken from them. I wanted *mine* back."

"Jack, I'm happy for Skaa'ra. I'm glad he's free. Kasuf will be happy he's free. Probably happier than he would be if the situation had been reversed. ... God, I don't mean that. ... Oh, dammit to hell. I *am* angry! Why *not* Sha're? She was young, beautiful, intelligent. She deserved life as much as, as ..." His voice faded away.

"As much as Skaa'ra?"

Daniel reluctantly nodded, but refused to meet Jack's eyes.

"You're right you know. Sha're did deserve ... to live ... as much as Skaa'ra. If only we'd been able to get her to Thor's hammer. If only we'd known about the Tok'ra before Sha're had the baby. Maybe then she could have been saved ... but again, maybe not. And no. Nowhere is it written that it's fair that the sister should die, but the brother should live."

The young man's head shot up and intense blue eyes acknowledged his shocked agreement with Jack's words, then a slow smile crept onto his face. "Doesn't change anything, does it?"

"Such as?"

"Skaa'ra's alive. Sha're's ... not. That it's not fair, doesn't really matter, does it?"

Jack sighed. "Not really."

"She's gone, and all I've got left is the memories of that year we spent together. What do I do now?"

"Cherish those memories. Hold onto them, but accept them for what they are."

"I don't understand."

"I spent so much time grieving over Charlie's death that I forgot to celebrate his life. I forgot to remember all the good times we had together. And once I remembered the good times, the pain of his loss became even more unbearable, for a while. Eventually the pain eased enough for me to see what a miracle my child's life had been. What a blessing he'd been in my life."

"What price joy?"

Jack looked confused. "Uh, what?"

"Something I heard once. 'What price joy' means that without true sorrow, a person can't really understand true joy. Kinda sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. You okay?"

Daniel smiled gamely. "Not really, but I will be."

  


* * *

>   
> © January 24, 2000 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.  
> The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters  
> who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,   
> titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television,   
> Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd.   
> Partnership.  
> This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and   
> solely meant for entertainment.   
> All other characters, the story idea and the story itself   
> are the sole property of the author.   
> 

* * *

  


##### Thank my beta, Mary, for the inspiration for this little piece.

* * *

  



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